Captain Dan and the Search of Dad

Author’s Note – This is a little humour piece I wrote a while back for a writing challenge. That said, any reference to other books is obviously fictional (unless you want more ;)) Enjoy!


Preface

Everybody knows and loves Captain Dan: The Space Man, but sadly, after 23 books, his adventures have come to an end.

Or have they?

For all those that wanted to know more about where Captain Dan came from, or how he became a Space Man, your prayers have been answered! This is the third prequel in Dan’s chronicles: Captain Dan and the Search of Dad. To properly enjoy this, I recommend reading the previous prequels: Captain Dan: Conception, and the award-winning Kid Dan.

Read on for a thrilling tale that you won’t be able to put down!

Warning: Please do not attempt to remove the book from your hands while reading. The glue is industrial strength, and may cause loss of skin tissue.

Chapter 1 – The First and Final Chapter

“We can’t stand much longer, captain,” came a call from the intercom, as another blast rocked the ship. Many more shots were already flying through space towards it.

“Then sit! While you’re there, open the pod bay doors. I’m going out there,” said Captain Richard Smith. He stood tall – all seven foot of him – with his black eyes set in resolve.

“No, Dad, don’t do it!” Cried his son, Dan. Dan took after his father, and at age 19, nearly reached his height. He tried standing up to him, tall and forebodingly, but to no avail.

“I have to, son. I’m sorry…you’ll survive this, though.” He handed Dan his communicator, ” So you can say goodbye.”

With that, Captain Richard left his son and crew behind, to board the pod. Just one minute later, Dan could see it drifting slowly though space, towards the attacking ship.

“I love you, Dad. Goodbye, and thank you…for everything.”

“I love you too, Dan…goodbye.”

Dan heard the sound of a tear sliding down his father’s face, followed soon by the familiar sound of him starting the pod’s engines – “C’monstartstartstart…yes!”

Flames emerged from the pod and begun to thrust it forwards…in the opposite direction.

The crew all stared in shock as it disappeared in the distance, leaving them alone with the attacking ship.

“Bastard,” said Dan.

————-

“Parley! Truce! We surrender!” Dan called over the communicator, to the attacking ship, “We mean no harm! Come in peace, and all that. Just stop shooting us!”

“Oh, okay. Sorry about all that,” came the reply.

“Really?”

“Of course. Sorry, we thought you were someone else. Want to come onto our ship for something to drink?”

Dan looked at the crew: some shrugged, some nodded. “Uh…sure, why not?”

The two ships docked, and Dan and the crew boarded the other. Waiting for them was a group of aliens, all of whom looked nearly identical. They were humanoid in shape, but had absurdly large feet, grey skin, and a head that largely represented a triangle. At around five foot tall, they were largely overshadowed by the other crew.

“E.T.?” Asked one of the engineers. The others held back laughs.

“F.U.?” At this, they couldn’t hold back, and laughed aloud. This confused the alien. ” What did I say? I thought you must be from Garlblaxiconain, saying their greeting.” It blushed at the attention, the grey skin turning green.

“Sorry, these guys are a bit…immature,” said Dan, trying to appear in control and mature. It didn’t work too well when he was holding in a chuckle himself. “We’re not from…there. We’re from Earth, on a mission to find life from other planets: looks like we found some!”

“Oh yes, Earth. Everyone else makes jokes about you all, you know? ‘So blind, they couldn’t find alien life if it guest starred on T.V.'”

“Anyway..” he replied, trying to change the subject, “Where are you from?”

“We come from the planet Gull, and are known as the Gullibles.”

“That’s a…unique name.”

“The Venerians told us that the Gods gave us this name.”

“I see,” the rest of the crew excused themselves, to catch their breath and go laugh at them more in private, “Anyway, during the battle my father abandoned ship, and I need to find him. Do you know what there’ll be in the direction he went?”

“Ah, your father was a coward?” Dan started to argue but gave up, and they continued, “Well, the planet Ratta is that direction. He probably got mixed up with the Coward Corps: they’re an army of cowards that roam the planet, picking fights with anything they think they can take. When you get there, Tiny can point the way.”

“Well, that seems mightily convenient for me to find.”

“We do have a word count to stick to, you know,” He replied.

“Good point, I should get to it quickly then. Could I borrow one of your smaller ships to get there faster?”

“Certainly, as long as you can return it once you’re done.”

“Could you stay in this space? So I can find you once I’m done.”

“Of course! We’ll be right here.”

Dan waited until he was on the ship to practise his evil laugh.

——–

In a crowded nightclub, full of weird and wonderful aliens (all of which had a curiously humanoid shape), Dan was searching for his next informant. His eyes settled on a short girl, with blue skin and long, braided hair.

“Hello there, are you Tiny? Or do you know them?”

“Sorry, sweetie, it’s not me. It’s the guy just over there. Once you’re done, want to come back to my place for a good time?”

“No thanks…” he looked over her again, “Well…come back tomorrow?”

“For sure,” she winked, “I’d never pass up a night with a Garlblaxiconain.”

He let that lie, and checked where she had pointed to. A gigantic man, at least 10 foot tall, stared back down at me.

The author decided that was a bit too cliché, and suddenly Dan noticed another in front of him. This creature was only a few inches tall, and was dancing slowly in front of the giant. His skin glowed golden, reflecting the party lighting.

“Hello there, are you Tiny? I’m Dan Smith” asked Dan.

“Very,” he replied, “Why do you ask?”

“The Gullibles told me to ask you where the Coward Corps could be…I think. They send their regards, too”

Tiny looked up to the giant, and then back to Dan, “Well, say hi back, would you?”

“Hi Back!” Dan said to the giant, missing the point.

“Hello there, Dance Miff” replied the coincidentally named giant, Bach.

“Back to the point,” continued Tiny, “Last I saw, they were challenging some geese a little way to the west of here, on God’s Point. You can’t miss it.”

“Thanks, Tiny!” said Dan, blowing a kiss to the blue girl before going. Her hair waved goodbye in response.

————

“Charge!” Yelled the commander of the Coward Corps. The group tentatively shuffled towards the sheep, some with swords at their sides, others with high-powered rifles.

Richard Smith was brandishing the former, and sticking to the middle of the group. His sword poked a couple of comrades, and they ran screaming. He sighed loudly: this wasn’t nearly as much fun as it had sounded, and he was starting to feel bad for leaving the others on the ship.

Dan came across this strange scene, and quickly spotted his father in the crowd.

“DAD!”

His father startled, and started backing away. This was the wrong move: the rest of the troops joined in, and began an instant stampede. Even worse, they were headed right towards a cliff.

“Look out, Dad!” Called Dan. But it was too late. The few that didn’t fall right away, soon joined their comrades in fright from the yell.

Dan stood silently for a minute, then wiped at his eye, “Stupid bug.”

“Hey, I resent that!” cried the bug, and flew away, “Kids these days…”

Dan shook his head, “…Maybe I’ll go see if that blue girl’s left the club yet.”

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